Saturday, 26 May 2012

Secret Mommyhood Confession Saturday #31

Here is a photo of me graduating from the University of Manitoba.  Way back in 2003.

I graduated with a major in Canadian Literature and a Minor in Canadian History.  I also had all of my pre-law requirements.  I graduated in the top 10% of my class and even had a banquet held for me and my fellow go-getters with the highest 10 GPAs in my class.

I was a bit of a smarty pants back then.

I confess: This week has got me wishing that I would have gone on to law school. 

I've had a tired mommy week.  I'm tired of taking Logan back and forth to school.  I'm tired of laundry, making lunches, hoping for naps, cleaning, baking, washing smudges off of everything.

I didn't go back to school for two reasons.  Number one: I ran up a huge student loan just to pay for the first degree.  A loan that I'm still paying off.  Since I'm a stay at home mommy I don't actually make enough money to pay it off, so I'm using my universal child tax benefit checks to pay it off.  (And yes, I'm aware of the fact that I'm using one government department's money to pay off another.)

Number two: way back in 2003 my cardiologist told me that if I wanted to have kids, I needed to start right away.  I needed my heart valve replaced, but couldn't have kids afterwards without serious risk.

I don't really regret the having kids part. although I wish I had known that it would take 2.5 years to get pregnant.  I could have finished law school by then!  OY!

I love my kids and I wanted my kids.  I don't know what my life would be without them.

But having weeks like this makes me wonder ...

- could I have helped my family more as a lawyer? (financially speaking of course! None of us are in trouble with the law. Stop thinking that! hehehe)
- would I have felt like my life meant more if I were contributing a more to society?
- could I be a better mother and woman if I had a profession of my own instead of pouring my life into being mommy?


I'm in a mood aren't I?


And I'm sharing my blahs with all the other cool mommies at All Work and No Play Makes Mommy Go Something Something.

The confessional is open.  Join us!



Kimberly said...

I hear you friend. I wish that i would have went to university and just got my bachelor of nursing. I would have been able to open more doors now that my back is all jacked up.
Le sigh.

WoolenSails said...

I did the same thing, never finished school and wish I had, but that is life. I just go with the flow and follow the path that it leads me. My kids are all grown up and at this point, I have no desire to go back to school, my brain doesn't work as well as it used to, lol.


Periwinkle Dzyns said...

hmmm, I did the opposite, got an education, started a career and then had my kids at 28 and 33.
But sometimes I wonder if I would have been a better mother with more energy, if I had had them earlier! If I hadn't kept going back to school and doing courses while they were young...
doesn't matter what you do, you always wonder if it would have been different if you did it in another order
So don't sweat it! but if you want to go back to school, then do it! It's never too late!!!

DangAndBlast! said...

I keep debating going to law school... There are online schools (valid in California! but nowhere else yet, but still let you say you have a law degree), or I could wait a while until the baby is a bit older and do a part-time course at a law school near me... Maybe someday...