Saturday, May 26, 2012
Here is a photo of me graduating from the University of Manitoba. Way back in 2003.
I graduated with a major in Canadian Literature and a Minor in Canadian History. I also had all of my pre-law requirements. I graduated in the top 10% of my class and even had a banquet held for me and my fellow go-getters with the highest 10 GPAs in my class.
I was a bit of a smarty pants back then.
I confess: This week has got me wishing that I would have gone on to law school.
I've had a tired mommy week. I'm tired of taking Logan back and forth to school. I'm tired of laundry, making lunches, hoping for naps, cleaning, baking, washing smudges off of everything.
I didn't go back to school for two reasons. Number one: I ran up a huge student loan just to pay for the first degree. A loan that I'm still paying off. Since I'm a stay at home mommy I don't actually make enough money to pay it off, so I'm using my universal child tax benefit checks to pay it off. (And yes, I'm aware of the fact that I'm using one government department's money to pay off another.)
Number two: way back in 2003 my cardiologist told me that if I wanted to have kids, I needed to start right away. I needed my heart valve replaced, but couldn't have kids afterwards without serious risk.
I don't really regret the having kids part. although I wish I had known that it would take 2.5 years to get pregnant. I could have finished law school by then! OY!
I love my kids and I wanted my kids. I don't know what my life would be without them.
But having weeks like this makes me wonder ...
- could I have helped my family more as a lawyer? (financially speaking of course! None of us are in trouble with the law. Stop thinking that! hehehe)
- would I have felt like my life meant more if I were contributing a more to society?
- could I be a better mother and woman if I had a profession of my own instead of pouring my life into being mommy?
I'm in a mood aren't I?
And I'm sharing my blahs with all the other cool mommies at All Work and No Play Makes Mommy Go Something Something.
The confessional is open. Join us!