Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Wednesday Weigh In: Supreme Humiliation

Let me tell you about the day I had yesterday.

And let me just preface this little rant with: Valentine's Day sucks donkey balls.

OK... so I'm in a wedding in my hometown this coming summer.

I faithfully emailed my measurements for the dress I'm going to have to shell out $400 for (ummm did I mention that my entire wedding dress cost $55?)

Anyway, the bride phoned me and told me that my measurements must be wrong because the lady in the dress shop said that she'd never seen measurements like those in ALL HER 4 YEARS working there.

(ummm... did I mention that I've been sewing my own clothes since I was 12? That's 23 years.)

I assured the bride that those measurements were indeed the proper ones and reminded her that I'm an experienced seamstress who knows how to take measurements.

Isn't that the first thing you learn how to do when learning how to tailor?

I realize that I'm a square.  There's nothing I can do about that.  I also realize that if you look at the charts, they will say that my hips put me in at a size 8 while my waist will put me in at size 18.  My bust coming in at size 16.

That is why all of my designs are 2 pieces (even my wedding dress). 

I calmly told the dress shop lady that with the particular cut of the dress in question, I would need a size 16.  There's no way I'm getting that dress over my boobs if it isn't that size.

Courtesy of Liana's Paper Doll Blog
This is the cut of the dress and almost the exact colour.  Empire cut.  So we all know that the most important measurements for fit on this dress are under the bust ( high waist) and the bust itself.  Everything else kinda hangs and has room for whatever junk you got in your trunk. 

But, bride decided that my experience didn't amount to much and let the dress shop lady order me a SIZE 20!!!

I have never in my life worn a size 20!  I'm only 158 lbs!

Yup, and so there is going to be a heckuva lot of fixing on this dress. 

And the best part? She doesn't even trust me enough to fix it.  No, she knows a seamstress who will have to fix it the morning of the wedding (I guess, because I can only fly into Calgary the night before and I have to drive down to my hometown after that).  She's not even going to send it to me ahead of time to make sure it fits.  Good luck to her!  I have a feeling that my boobs will be popping out of that dress during the ceremony.  I hope bride likes nip shots in her wedding photos. :P


The bride obviously is a good friend who I would do anything for, so I forgive her bridezilla goggles and hope everything works out - or she replaces me with someone who can be present for a perfect fitting. I won't be offended if she goes that route. (And she doesn't read this blog, so no worries.)


And to top that off, I gave up Diet Pepsi two weeks ago and I'm CRANKY.

I spent yesterday on the couch eating cookies and crying.  Then I had a Slurpee and ate more cookies.  Yeah - those weight loss gurus are correct - eating is linked with emotions.  But hey, if I'm going to fit a size 20 dress by August, I guess I better eat more cookies!


Unknown said...

I love your post! Haven't touched base with you in a long while. Really hope you are doing well!

Unknown said...

I busted out laughing (no pun intended) at you last line! Aren't weddings fun fun fun. Makes me wish I tormented my bridesmaids more (their dresses were off the rack). I agree she should let you alter it yourself. Really hope the dress fits in the end and that you don't have a wardrobe malfunction on her wedding day!

Rosa said...

Ugh. I had the same experience when I ordered a custom made wetsuit.

Be strong! :)