Thursday, 8 December 2011

Realizing When Enough Is Enough

Logan's 5th birthday is this weekend.


He's having a birthday party - the first one with all of his friends.  We decided on a venue (the bowling alley) and sort of decided on a theme (LEGO).

I've been having a decent time planning the party.  Terry did all of the legwork involved in phoning the various bowling alleys and getting the best deal.  I worked on invitations, cake, party favours and goodie bags.  I'll show you all the fun stuff in later posts after the party.

We even asked Logan's teacher about the protocol involved in handing out the invitations.  She told us to leave them with her and she'd discreetly put them into each invitee's bookbag.

OK. Simple enough.  Logan and I worked on a guest list and did up the invitations on the weekend (November 26th).  We handed the invitations to the teacher on Monday the 28th.

Then we waited...

And waited....

And waited....

__________

If you're a regular reader of this blog you've probably figured out that I suffer from social anxiety.  I was beginning to panic.  Was no one coming to Logan's party? Had the teacher remembered to hand the invitations out?  Were they stuck in the bottom of the bookbags only to be seen when it's too late?  I had a heckuva a time all week imagining the worst.  I put the deadline for RSVP on Monday December 5th and by Monday we had heard nothing.  I was so sick with worry that I literally made myself sick with worry.

I tried to get the attention of one of the moms in the hallway when she was picking up her child, but it's so hard for me to strike up a conversation.  I was totally paralyzed and hated the thought of having to talk to one of them when another one whose child wasn't invited was standing close by.  Gah.  I just wish I could get over that. I feel like such a total failure as a mommy when I can't even function normally at the school.

I brought Logan home on Monday and frantically texted Terry that we might have to reschedule the party and do the invites again with better notice.

That's when the phone rang and the first of the mommies called to confirm that their child will be attending the party.

Thank God.

The teacher hadn't handed the invites out until that day.  Yikes!

And still only 1 child can't attend.

Thank God again.

________

So this was supposed to be the post where I told you all about the craft show I am doing on Sunday - the day after Logan's party.  But due to serious stressful cirumstances I have cancelled.

While all of this was going on, I was also trying to get all my Christmas packages sewn, baked and ready to go by the end of this week.  None of my family lives in town so I need to get everything sent off around this time in order to make the cut off date for shipping.

It all just piled up on me.  I started to feel overwhelmed. I started crying  A LOT. And then the lovely stomach ulcer that I gave myself in university decided to return.

So I'm done.

All the packages are ready to go out today.  My shop is closed until next year.  And I won't be doing any other craft shows.



All that's left to get through is the party.  And Terry will handle the social aspect of it while I work on cake, goodie bags and party favours - the stuff I can do.


Wow! That was a long - slightly personal - post.  Sorry for rambling.  I'm in a mood.

4 comments:

Periwinkle Dzyns said...

no natter how far ahead you do manage to get the invitations out, no one ever answers until the final deadline day any way, if you are lucky, often they phone after :) or sometimes just show up without letting you know they are coming. take a deep breath, it will be fun and the kids will have a great time!!! I promise :)

anita said...

Ah, Tawny. You are always doing so much for everyone else. I know how much work you put into your amazing handmade presents, never mind all the work for your craft shows. Logan is going to have a fabulous birthday, and you are an amazing mom. Relax, enjoy, and take some time for yourself when the party is over. You deserve it.

Steph said...

I bet you were so relieved when the RSVPs finally started rolling in! Logan is going to love his Lego party! I may have to steal this idea for the future, as my girls love Legos too. Can't wait to see how everything turned out!

I'm pretty sure I have social anxiety as well. After becoming a SAHM it has become worse because I'm not around adults as much anymore. So I too feel anxious striking up conversation with the moms at the girls' school. Just one of a million other ways we are alike, huh?!

I think it was a great decision to cancel the craft show when you started to feel overwhelmed. I have told you before (and I bet you still don't believe it) that you AMAZE me! You've gone through so much this year, and you have accomplished so much!!! Be proud of all you have done, with your business and your health, while being a rockin' wife and mama!

PrairiePeasant said...

You've made the right decision to look after yourself and your family first. Try to do some things to pamper yourself when the kids are at school tomorrow.

Regarding RSVP's, I was surprised it was partly the teacher's problem, because you need to get used to it now, that there are so many people who just don't bother to reply for whatever reason, and it's not your fault or your kids'. I call these people rude and lacking in social skills, but none the less, we all have to deal with them. Giving other options for reply like email sometimes helps. Original party ideas also help.

Don't be too hard on yourself with the social anxiety. MANY people feel the same way, and are scared to approach people, but love it when someone approaches them. One step at a time.

Now take a deep breath, and enjoy your precious family. And have a wonderful Christmas!