Saturday, 19 March 2011

Secret Mommyhood Confession Saturday #2

I am unnaturally attached to my hair.

The stuff on top of my head, not the other stuff which can take a flying leap if you know what I mean. ;)

And I'm afraid for the future of my long locks. :(

This long wavy awesomeness might have its days numbered.

My surgery on Wednesday involves me getting my chest cracked open. Bleh. But I'm not concerned about the scar it will leave (actually the scar will probably be much improved from the one that is already there from the first time I had open heart surgery). I'm not even really concerned with the pain or the recovery. I'll figure it out and take lots of drugs.

But I am concerned about my precious hair! Ack! Being in the hospital for a week without proper hair care is going to make it very angry. And the idea of washing and brushing it with a cracked sternum sounds brutal.

What if I have to cut it? I haven't had short hair since high school. I have a seriously round face which means it's going to have to be really short or long. No in between - unless I like the chubby-cheeked chipmunk look... and I so don't.

The rational part in me says that it will grow back really fast.


I cut it down to this length once. Not too bad. It grew back to my long wavy locks in about 3 months. But to cut it so short that I wouldn't have to deal with it while healing? That will take at least a year (with the dreaded chipmunk look in between) to grow out. Waaaaaahhhhhh!

The irrational part of my brain says, how will my kids recognize me without my long hair? Totally ridiculous - I know. But still... I identify myself with some of these outer features.

Boourns.

So there you have it folks. A trip into my secret inner fears. I can handle surgery... but the chopping off of my hair might just break my heart.

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4 comments:

Kimberly said...

You're hair is absolutely gorgeous! I can totally understand why you would feel anxious about it.
But...BUT...why would you have to cut it? Are they making you? I mean they could totally stuff it in a hair net thing right?
Either way, your health is more important and hair does grow back right? When I had back surgery, my hair was the last thing in my mind. Although it should have been since I looked a dreadful mess for months ;)
Your wee ones will always ALWAYS know who their mommy is. They'll see you in your eyes, the loving tone in your voice, and the way you hold them...no child can deny a momma's love no matter what her appearance is.
Much love and luck to you

Tawny said...

Aww Thanks Kim! It's exactly how you described it; my kids will love me no matter what I look like. It's such an irrational fear of mine.

And it's true. I can just throw it in a hair net for the duration of the hospital stay. Who cares what a person looks like at the hospital? But I'm more concerned with the 6 to 8 weeks of recovery. Having a sternum that is just stapled together doesn't sound very conducive to washing, brushing, or even ponytailing this massive mop of mine.

I guess time will tell if I'm strong enough to undertake the upkeep of long hair, or if I should just cut it and not have to worry about that trouble. :)

jake + cleo said...

I would have the same fears! It takes time to maintain a thick, long mane :)

Do you have a friend that could come over and braid it for you every 3 or 4 days? I did that for Em when she was in the hospital.

~corina

Jennie said...

Can Terry give a decent shampoo? I guess it'd be hard to have such long hair washed properly with you reclining...

Maybe head to your local hair salon once a week for a wash, and let them worry about doing a good job? YOu'd need a salon with the right kind of seats though. I used to go to one where the seats were kinda like a big wedge shoe, very supportive and comfortable.