Thursday, 4 November 2010

The Magic Bracelet - No More Tears

As you may have read several times on this blog in the last few months - Logan has been having some trouble adjusting to pre-school.

Every morning we go through the same thing. Logan asks if it's a school day and if the answer is "yes" then the tears start flowing. The whole process is strenuous on the both of us. I've had to leave him crying in the classroom more times than I care to think about. My heart was beginning to feel the strain.

Terry and I spent almost every evening in the past few months talking strategy. What kinds of things could we do to ease his transition? He seems to be fine once I leave the classroom and he gets adjusted, but the leaving routine was wearing us both down.

Thanks to some very wonderful books, we finally have a solution that is working. First I read The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine N. Aron. Ph. D. She really helped me realize that the traditional solutions might not work for Logan. For example, everyone (including Logan's teacher) was telling me to get him distracted by playing with another child while I left. This does not work with Logan. He's busy processing the entire experience and needs to be left alone for a few minutes to let his over-active brain adjust. Sure enough, Logan's teacher figured this out in a hurry. She found that she only made the crying worse if she tried to engage him before he was ready!

This book also said that maybe crying might be part of his routine and that I shouldn't worry about it if it wasn't disrupting anyone. And it doesn't... so I stopped worrying about how to fix it and let Logan use his own coping mechanisms to deal with this new experience.

Next I read The No-Cry Solution to Separation Anxiety by Elizabeth Pantley. Her book on potty training was awesome and this one hit the mark as well. She really gives a lot of strategies and trusts parents to decide and try out the ones that will work for each child. Because not only is Logan sensitive, but he's also dealing with separation anxiety to the hilt. We've barely left him with a babysitter and he has no grandparents in the city, so he's really never been separated from mommy for very long.

This book came with the Magic Bracelet. It's an object that a child can concentrate on when he's feeling anxiety. It's packed full of hugs and kisses from mommy. What an amazing difference we found when we tried this solution. Logan still said that he was going to miss mommy, but the bracelet has been helping us work toward no tears.

Another thing this book reminded me about was that Logan's separation anxiety and tears should be reassuring. All it means is that I've done a good job as a mommy and have developed a wonderful, trusting bond with my little boy. Yes! I need that reaffirmation sometimes.

Anyway, today was the first day since the school year began where there were no tears! :D


Logan says that he might cry sometimes because he misses mommy, but I told him that was OK. It's just his way of coping.

I'm so proud of my little guy! Such a big, brave boy!

Continue to grow and jump and reach for the stars my little man!


Jennwith4 said...

Yay I'm happy for you and Logan! Glad you found something that works for you!

Periwinkle Dzyns said...

You are a wonderful parent to let him work through these things! He will grow up healthier for it and your understanding.