Friday, 31 August 2007

Wild 'N Out

Last night Logan was up at 1:00 in the morning. I turned on the TV to catch the end of the Colbert Report, and then left it on while the next show started. It was called Wild 'N Out.


My first guess was that CTV finally broke down and was airing hardcore gay porn in the middle of the night. But no... sadly, that would have been more intellectually stimulating that this show was. I mistakenly thought the "N" part of the show, meant "And." While watching, I learned that it might mean "ing" as in "Wild-ing." Who knows?

This show was so far out of my realm of knowledge that I felt like I entered the twilight zone.

You see, it is produced by MTV and it has a host named Nick Cannon. Apparently, Nick Cannon is a rapper and actor and comedian (man of all trades). He has been in a few movies I've heard of including: Men in Black II and Shall We Dance. Anyway, Wild 'N Out is like Whose Line is it Anyway, only way more raunchy and crazy. There is a crazy audience in the background screaming their heads off and laughing at everything (even when it isn't particularly funny). They look like they are going to pass out form the hilarity. There are fly girls dancing around and a DJ. All I can say is that if you've never seen it, you gotta get a load of this:




The show has two teams, the red and black team. They compete in various improv games. I especially enjoyed the last game of the evening on the particular episode I caught. It was called "Trash Talk." Each team was challenged with trash talking the other team. They got points for each "burn" they got off of each other. Trash talk involving bad breath is still a classic that works, but snaps about needing a nose job failed miserably.

Terry was up with me and we both tried to figure out the target demographic for this show. First, Terry suggested that it looked like a kids show that 50Cent thought up. Maybe? But there weren't any kids in the audience and the language was a little filthy for that demographic. The audience is primarily made up of young, urban, probably single people. I must be far from the pulse of the society, because I could not understand why anyone would want to watch this.

Although, I admit, it was like a train wreck. Terry and I couldn't look away. Incidentally, Logan fell asleep half way through, so the kids show guess was a bust. He wasn't interested at all.

And I learned a new word! "Smitches." I looked it up on Urban Dictionary:

smitch
3 thumbs up

a term of endearment. Originally from the new york slang meaning ladies' genital area, now (rhyming with bitch), it is a term of endearment for one's own 'bitch'

Hey there smitch/smitchbag/smitchface, how are you?


OH! And the best part was the guy who was leading the black team last night. I wanted to call him Swizzlesticks... but his actual name was Swizz Beatz. Haha. Methinks they are running out of rapper names. Logan has a better rapper name than that... Lo-B of course!




So to all my smitches out there... you better watch out or I'll get all up in your biznatch! Laterz!

Thursday, 30 August 2007

The Hand That Feeds

Will you bite the hand that feeds?
Will you chew until it bleeds?
Can you get up off your knees?

Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails) - The Hand That Feeds

Uh Oh! Here comes SeƱor Fussypants with his mad biting skillz. Dum Dum Duhhhhhhh!!!!!

We're all dooooooooomed!


Ok... so he looks harmless.... but watch out! He'll chew you 'til you bleed!!!

Wednesday, 29 August 2007

Tooth Aches

My poor baby! Logan has been suffering and suffering and suffering with this teething thing. (Incidentally, I just figured out what "long suffering" looks like. Take a look at the picture below. Those swollen cheeks, that sad little child gumming his sore mouth).



Anyway, all this crying and waking up in the middle of the night and biting everything in sight and drooling everywhere has finally come to something. Logan has a toofy!

Actually, he has two teeth (as I found out when he bit me this morning). The precious book on baby's first year told us that it is usually the top front teeth the come in first and then the bottom front teeth. As usual, Logan has to do everything ass backwards. He grew his two bottom teeth first. Just like he was supposed to learn how to roll from his tummy onto his back before learning to roll onto his tummy from his back. And just like he was supposed to learn how to get to a sitting position before he would learn to crawl. He did those backwards too.

I'll be working this week on taking pictures of these elusive teeth, but so far I've had no luck. Logan won't open his mouth for anyone unless he's screaming his suffering little head off (and that's just a heartbreaking picture that I don't need to push on you). So be patient and he'll be smiling a big grim in no time!

Monday, 27 August 2007

I Spy

Logan is a little spy. He watches us constantly and mimics our actions. It's very cute... but a little scary at the same time.

When we play music and sing or hum along to the tune, Logan watches carefully and hums along also.

When Terry was telling me a story about what happened at work using hand gestures, Logan watched carefully and mimicked the noise and hand movements.

When mommy plays drums on her knees with her hands, Logan watches carefully and starts to "play" mommy's knees too!

He's growing up so fast! Where did my little baby go?!!

We've really gotta watch what we say now. You never know when he'll be ready to say his first word. And we're not known for curbing our language. We only hope that we can keep our mouths under control and his first word will be "mommy," not "%&*^%." hehehe

Anyway, he wants to be just like mommy and daddy right now, so we've bought him his own set of keys to play with. Although I don't ever remember eating my keys. I guess he's gotta put his own personality into them somehow. :)


Wednesday, 22 August 2007

On Top of Spaghetti

When you're a mommy it seems that you can pull song lyrics from your childhood out of the deep, dark recesses of your mind when in a pinch. I discovered this today when Logan was having his, now typical, morning teething attack. In order to distract him from the obvious pain, I like to sing at the top of my lungs. This confuses the little one enough for him to stop crying and curiously watch me for awhile.

My song lyrics knowledge is limited when it comes to appropriate songs to sing to a child. Somehow I don't think Pantera or Megadeth would go over well. And Logan is bored of my Shania Twain and Keith Urban montages.

So, out of the blue, I remembered a wonderful song I used to sing when I was small. "On Top of Spaghetti." I'm sure some of you will remember this little ditty. But for those who need a refresher, I will post it below:


On top of spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball
When somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table
And onto the floor,
And then my poor meatball
Rolled right out the door!

It rolled in a garden
And under a bush
Now my poor meatball
Was nothing but mush

The mush was as tasty
As tasty could be
Early next summer
It grew into a tree

The tree was all covered
With beautiful moss
It grew lovely meatballs
In a tomato sauce

So if you like spaghetti
All covered with cheese
Hold on to your meatballs
And DON'T EVER SNEEZE!

A-A-A-CHOO !!



I didn't remember the whole song. I got up to the part about the mush. Come to think of it though, I don't remember ever having learned the rest of the song when I was little either. Anyway, Logan loved it! He even hummed along with me as I sang.


Which leads me to the second part of my blog which involves a bet that Terry and I have wagered. We were consulting our baby's first year book and it said that babies learn to talk and to walk around the same time (a year). It all depends on what they want to learn first.

I say Logan will learn to talk first, and Terry (just to be argumentative and make things fun) says he will learn to walk first. Whoever loses has to cook dinner for the family for a week straight.

Why do I think Logan will talk first you may ask? Well, I've been watching him closely and noticed that when he wants to wake us or get us to do anything, he goes for our mouths. He is always trying to get us to talk and then he knows we're awake. I've read that most babies will go for the eyes to make sure their parents are paying attention.

Second, as I mentioned above, he hums along to songs that we are singing. It's like he wants to sing along with us, but isn't sure of the words. So cute.

He also recognizes a lot of words already: Logan, milk, lunch, bath are among his favourites.

All the beginnings are there. Let's hope he keeps going. I want to win this one! hehehe


Friday, 17 August 2007

Pucker Up



Kisses from Team T-Lo.

We haven't changed much from our last family portrait (the one featured at the top of this blog). But we are just too cute not to share the latest masterpiece.

Love you all!

Sunday, 12 August 2007

He's Mobile!





Logan is 8 months old and looky... he can crawl! Pretty good eh?

Wednesday, 8 August 2007

The 7 Month Switch

There is a little known fact in babydom that at about 7 months old, babies turn from sweet little angels into crazy maniacal wiggly monsters. It's called the 7 month switch.

I noticed this the other day when I went out walking with Logan. There are tons of mothers that walk their babies in our neighbourhood. And I'm beginning to tell them apart. The mothers with babies under 7 months are very serene. They are dressed nicely and perky... yes perky is the word I want to use.

This is me and Logan (6 months). Notice how happy and perky I am. Notice how he sits still.

The mothers with babies above 7 months are ... well... frazzled.

They have just about 7 dozen things with them just to go for a walk around the block. These things include:

- Kleenex and baby wipes (baby is not content to sit nicely in the stroller anymore. He must touch everything in his reach, even if it's a thorn bush causing him to bleed or get mucky)
- no less than two sun hats (baby will begin to realize that the sun in not in his eyes and therefore that mommy person must have put a hat on his head. This is unacceptable and he will pull it off and when you're not looking, drop it on the ground)
Sippy cup full of juice (baby will get bored looking at people are cars around him at approximately 20 minutes into the walk and need another distraction)
- blanket (not for sleeping, because a 7 month old baby never sleeps. for blocking the sun from his eyes when he's thrown his hat on the ground for the hundredth time and then cries when it's too bright outside)
- snugly (baby will occasionally scream his head off for no other reason than to get your attention and demand to be carried that rest of the way home. In order to push the stroller, you must use snugly to strap baby to your back)
- mosquito netting (not to protect baby from the insects because he will just pull at the netting anyway, letting every bug known to man inside with him, but as yet another distraction/toy)

And many more things that may help, like Anbesol, cookies etc.

This is me and Logan (7 months). Yes he is grabbing my neck fat and won't sit still. Did I forget to mention that mommies are no longer allowed to eat when and what they want? They gain weight doing that... booooo!


Gone are the days when you could just pack up and go and baby would fall asleep and you could walk peacefully around the neighbourhood at your own pace.

And the moms of these babies. What a sight!
Hair pulled back because baby pulls. Contact lenses put in because baby has pulled the designer glasses off their faces so many times that they are bent and fragile from the strain. Jogging pants or shorts and a t-shirt with carrot juice or whatever other baby food was thrown at you all over the front. One eye on the road to avoid baby being able to reach anything dangerous and one eye on baby in order to catch any hats or toys from being thrown to the ground.

Yipes! And I'm only one month into this. I'll let you know if it ever ends... but somehow I don't think it does ...

Monday, 6 August 2007

Bumbo Hacked!



Breaking News! This just in:

Logan has figured out how to get out of Bumbo. He is a sneaky little bugger. He stretches way out until he's almost falling out of the chair. Then he rolls right out onto his stomach. He's way too smart for his own good.

Mommy and daddy have got to keep a close eye on him. Next he'll get out of the high chair. He's already close in the stroller. He has already figured how to kick the button that releases the front tray. Good thing he is always strapped in.