Friday, 9 November 2007

Be It Resolved

Team T-Lo has gotten together and passed a measure to limit the power of the almighty Slurpee. The following resolution serves as notice that Slurpee is to no longer hold any member of Team T-Lo in its evil grasp.

*****

Whereas: in the past Slurpee has caressed us with its heavenly and intoxicating flavour.

Whereas: Slurpee has made us addicted and cranky sugar fiends.

Whereas: Each member of Team T-Lo (with the exception of Lo) has gained a significant amount of weight due to Slurpee's nefarious tricks.

Be It Resolved, therefore, that no member of Team T-Lo is permitted to drink a Slurpee on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday. (exception: if said Monday is part of a long weekend, Slurpee may be permitted if all members are in agreement).

Be It Resolved that no Slurpee will be had on a weekend unless the following conditions are met:
- both adult participants of Team T-Lo must be in agreement about buying said Slurpee. (No member of Team T-Lo is permitted to drink a Slurpee alone)
- The specified Re-fill cups are the only containers in which said Slurpee is allowed to be received into.

Be It Resolved that all these rules may be dissolved in the event of a "very bad day." The method for invoking this resolve are as follows:
- One member must have had a "very bad day" in which case that member will call a family caucus to discuss the level of said "very bad day"
- if it is decided that the "very bad day" is indeed the case, a motion will be passed to revoke all Slurpee resolves
A "very bad day" will consist of at least 2 of the following conditions:
- something awful happens at work.
- something awful happens at home while watching the member of Team T-Lo named Logan.
- it is raining, snowing, too hot, flooding, excessively windy or any other weather condition that may cause a member of Team T-Lo to become pissed off
- a certain time of the month comes for the member of Team T-Lo named Tawny and she is in need of serious comfort food in the form of Slurpee
- there is major computer trouble for the member of Team T-Lo named Terry and he is in need of serious comfort food in the form of Slurpee
- if any member of Team T-Lo is kept awake for too long by the member named Logan and is in need of a serious caffeine and/or sugar fix in order to function properly.

Resolved this, the 9th day of November, 2007

3 comments:

CHADMAC said...

I would like to propose an amendment to the above resolution:


Whereas: Entities affiliated with Team T-Lo via the 2nd Speechly Caucuses of 1999-2000 are also addicted to Slurpees.

Whereas: The MacDougall Brother Coalition, being an aforementioned affiliated entity, no longer resides within the Team T-Lo region.

Whereas: The MacDougall Brother named Chad has been unable to find Slurpees of suitable quality within his current region.

Whereas: The MacDougall Brother named Chad will be in the Team T-Lo region during the month of December in the year 2007.

Be It Resolved that any conferences or assemblies resulting from the return of the MacDougall Brother named Chad be exempt from any Slurpee prohibitions as outlined in the original Slurpee resolution dated the 9th day of November, 2007.

Tawny said...

Denial of Responsibility:

Team T-Lo denies responsibility for any "loopholes" that may have been included in the above resolution for the sole purpose of being able to achieve a Slurpee whenever or wherever a craving is piqued. *wink*

Julie said...

All hail the mighty slurpee!