Team T-Lo has gotten together and passed a measure to limit the power of the almighty Slurpee. The following resolution serves as notice that Slurpee is to no longer hold any member of Team T-Lo in its evil grasp.
Whereas: in the past Slurpee has caressed us with its heavenly and intoxicating flavour.
Whereas: Slurpee has made us addicted and cranky sugar fiends.
Whereas: Each member of Team T-Lo (with the exception of Lo) has gained a significant amount of weight due to Slurpee's nefarious tricks.
Be It Resolved, therefore, that no member of Team T-Lo is permitted to drink a Slurpee on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday. (exception: if said Monday is part of a long weekend, Slurpee may be permitted if all members are in agreement).
Be It Resolved that no Slurpee will be had on a weekend unless the following conditions are met:
- both adult participants of Team T-Lo must be in agreement about buying said Slurpee. (No member of Team T-Lo is permitted to drink a Slurpee alone)
- The specified Re-fill cups are the only containers in which said Slurpee is allowed to be received into.
Be It Resolved that all these rules may be dissolved in the event of a "very bad day." The method for invoking this resolve are as follows:
- One member must have had a "very bad day" in which case that member will call a family caucus to discuss the level of said "very bad day"
- if it is decided that the "very bad day" is indeed the case, a motion will be passed to revoke all Slurpee resolves
A "very bad day" will consist of at least 2 of the following conditions:
- something awful happens at work.
- something awful happens at home while watching the member of Team T-Lo named Logan.
- it is raining, snowing, too hot, flooding, excessively windy or any other weather condition that may cause a member of Team T-Lo to become pissed off
- a certain time of the month comes for the member of Team T-Lo named Tawny and she is in need of serious comfort food in the form of Slurpee
- there is major computer trouble for the member of Team T-Lo named Terry and he is in need of serious comfort food in the form of Slurpee
- if any member of Team T-Lo is kept awake for too long by the member named Logan and is in need of a serious caffeine and/or sugar fix in order to function properly.
Resolved this, the 9th day of November, 2007